Little By Little
by Nittles
Summary: The loss of two lives; one figuratively, one literally prove to Ros that two wrongs do make a right.
1. Chapter One

**Spooks is owned by BBC/Spooks**

"The fact that your own existence is a walking disaster zone does NOT give you the right to make judgements on other peoples!"

She stormed out of the office, blinded by a sudden rage that consumed the whole of her body. She was trembling as she bustled through the pods, determined to get as far away from that repulsive man as possible. She didn't notice Adam lounging around in reception waiting for his cab driver, she didn't notice him call her name or try to follow her. She didn't notice anything but the road directly in front of her and the stinging sensation in her eyes.

How she got home, she'll never know. She threw her keys on the counter and slumped onto the sofa, finally giving in to the tears that had threatened to spill all evening. Her father had betrayed her, let her down, lulled her into a false sense of security but she didn't care. He was still her father, no matter how much he scared her. The thought of him locked away in a dingy room for the next twenty years was more petrifying than anything she had ever encountered on any operation.

She hated Harry. She hated him for treating her with such contempt, for telling Adam, for hiding it from her. She could wallow in her hatred for that man until the clouds fell from the sky but it wouldn't change anything. It most certainly wouldn't change how much she hated herself. She allowed herself to look and become vulnerable in front of him. She couldn't keep her emotions in check and the only way she could make herself feel better was to try and dent his. Truth be told, she did feel pleased with herself that he ended up looking dejected and worn-down by the end of her rant. She'd definitely hit a nerve.

Deciding she was overdue a relaxing night in, she crossed the room to her CD player, putting on some mellow music before pouring herself a glass of wine. It at least allowed her to think. As she finally settled herself into a comfortable state on the sofa, the doorbell rung and she jolted upright, suddenly alarmed as to who would knock at her door at half eleven at night.

Rising slowly, she grabbed the gun placed under sofa and approached the front door. Unlatching the chain and pulling back the door, she found Adam leaning against the door frame with a unopened bottle of wine in his hand.

She pulled back the door fully, sighing as she clunked her gun down on the side table.

"I know I shouldn't be calling this late..." Adam started, trailing off when he noticed the sudden anger burning in her eyes.

"And why should I let you in?" She snapped a little too harshly, regretting it slightly as Adam winced.

"I just came to see if you were ok?" He mumbled, looking awkwardly at anything but her.

"Oh, because I really need your sympathy don't I?"

"Can I come in please? We can talk about this inside."

Reluctantly she gave in, and stepped aside to allow him to pass. He froze as he entered the middle of the living room and turned around to face Ros with a smirk on his face.

"What?"

"I didn't have you down for the type that listened to mellow music," he laughed softly, his eyes shining in the dim lighting.

"Well you learn something new every day don't you?"

Adam carefully placed the wine down on the table and walked slowly towards Ros.

"Look, I know you're upset, and I know I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't just leave you to your own devices tonight."

Ros looked at him thoughtfully. Smiling slightly, she closed the distance even more and held out her hand.

"Dance," she whispered and leant into his body as he slowly nodded his agreement and pulled her closer to him.

**Please review! More to come soon!**


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes: Sorry it has taken so long to update! This chapter and the next few chapters are in snippets so that when the main plot events occur it makes it a little easier for the reader to understand! Enjoy!**

**A Few Weeks Later**

Ros watched as the tracker in Harry's car pulled away from Ruth's stationary position outside her house.

"No date then," she mused happily, before engrossing herself in the files on her desk.

It was irrational, she knew that. To take such pleasure in knowing Harry's happiness was so close yet still out of reach. She knew Ruth wouldn't allow the relationship to blossom on the grid, and for that she was happy. Why could he have everything when she had to watch her family get thrown to the dogs?

Ros' attentions were pulled back to the screen in front of her as the tracker bleeped once again. It was moving at the same pace as Harry's. She must be in a car.

"Ruth I thought you said you was going home."

Ros was intrigued. It wasn't like Ruth to lie, and it most certainly wasn't like Ruth to keep things from other members of the team. A little strange, but Ros felt she was onto something here. Something that could tear the department to shreds. Something that could bring the mighty Harry Pearce to his knees. As Ruth's tracker came to a standstill, Ros sat watching the screen idly before snapping into action and typing in the necessary details to find out her location.

"Maudsley's house? What the hell are you up to Ruth?"

* * *

"I don't like spying on Ruth," Zaf protested.

"Then don't," Ros replied smugly, watching Ruth disappear from view before letting herself into Maudsley's house.

Leaving Zaf to close the door behind him, Ros explored the house carefully; desperate to expose any clues that could lead to finding out why Ruth was even here in the first place. The house was ordinary, the furniture was ordinary. Nothing had been tampered with. The lack of evidence didn't de-motivate Ros. On the contrary, it made her more determined to find something. Pulling open various cupboards, it wasn't until she reached the last one before her eyes froze and she realised she had potentially struck gold.

"What gun was Abdul shot with?" Ros asked Zaf without turning around to face him.

"It was a Chinese type 67," Zaf replied, unsure of what Ros was trying to get at.

"Unusual," Ros pondered slowly, still not revealing the reasons for her sudden interest.

"Very," Zaf agreed, nodding his head slightly for effect.

"Like this one?" Ros asked triumphantly, pulling out the exact same gun Zaf has described.

"You're jumping to conclusions," Zaf protested quickly.

"What conclusions?" Ros asks slowly, noting with pride the look of fear edging across Zaf's features. "I've said nothing."

* * *

Ros sat her desk and watched passively as commotion spread across the grid. Harry and Mace were locked in some heated argument as they anticipated Ruth's arrival from Maudsley's house. She was definitely right in saying Ruth was Harry's rose tinted blind spot.

"Ros," Adam strode over to where she was positioned. He looked far from pleased "Next time you go to me before anyone else," he hissed.

"I was just reporting events," Ros replied coolly, undeterred by Adam's piercing gaze.

"No you weren't, you were taking the opportunity to strike back at harry."

_There's definitely truth there_, she thought.

"Look, I know you all have this absolute loyalty to Ruth, but she's pulling the wool over your eyes."

"This isn't your father we're talking about!" Adam barked back.

"No it isn't, it's something even more devious."

* * *

Ros watched as the group left the grid one by one to re-assemble. She knew she wouldn't have been invited along for the get together. Of course not, she'd been the one to get the ball rolling in the first place. She knew Adam and Harry would be furious, Harry probably more guilty than furious, but angry all the same. She needed to justify herself to Adam, she needed to keep her job safe.

She spotted the group from a distance and walked hurriedly towards them, might as well get it over with now.

As Adam turned briefly he caught her eye.

"I'm surprised to see you here," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Can I have a word?"

"No, you better say it to everyone."

"I'm not sorry, I was doing my job," and making Harry feel some of my pain.

"But you were wrong,"

"I agree she's been set up if that's what you mean," she replied coolly.

As the group tried to make sense of what had just occurred, Ros kept taking sneaky glances at Harry. He looked crestfallen, vulnerable, guilty. She had reduced this man to a quivering wreck, making him the weakest member of the team at the time he needed to be the strongest. As the team began to separate Adam called Ros behind and asked her for a favour. As much as she liked to see Harry and Ruth get thrown to the dogs, she needed to win back Adam's trust. For now, that meant following orders.

**Please review! More soon!**


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N: Apologies for the delay, life has a habit of getting in the way these days. Hopefully chapter four will be up a little quicker than this one was posted!**

**This one is for Katie (katiealice49) without whom I don't think I would have even posted this chapter! :) **

She double checked it was the right house before grabbing the nearest brick and smashing a back window. As she cleared the pane of any glass before climbing in she wondered how Ruth would respond when she found out it was her. She was the main reason Ruth was in this mess and she had a funny feeling Ruth's darker side would unleash itself. She brushed herself down quickly before heading in the direction of the hallway unsure of what to expect. She found Ruth staring intently at her, body tensed, a long, sharp knife held firmly in her right hand. She put her finger quickly to her lips to stop Ruth making any noise before walking briskly over to the radio, which just so happened to be placed conveniently where Ruth was standing, and turned it on.

"Adam wants to see you, usual place." She said quickly, hoping not to attract any unwanted attention from outside.

"How do I get out?" Ruth sounded panicked, edgy, and Ros was mildly grateful Ruth wasn't too bothered about her presence in the house nor the broken window. Ros was sure Harry would replace it.

"The same way I got in." Ros replied, removing her coat as she continued. "I'll stay here and be you." _I'd rather pretend to be you than actually have you be you,_ Ros mused bitterly, waiting patiently for Ruth to take it all in and respond.

Ruth followed suit and they soon found themselves wearing each other's coats. It was rather ironic that these two new enemies had to swap identities and pose as their other in order to defeat the set up. It was a strange game, but the consequences were too great to start fussing now. Sensing Ruth wasn't going to talk any time soon, Ros pressed on.

"I never apologise by the way," She stated matter-of-factly.

"But if you did?" Ruth was curious to say the least. Was this Ros' form of apology?

"Four hours Cinderella, then you turn into a pumpkin." Ros sneered.

She watched Ruth leave before smirking slightly. This was turning out to be an interesting operation.

* * *

A few hours ticked by as Ros sat in Ruth's house; occasionally she wandered in and out of each room, trying to find snippets of information that told her more about Ruth. It was a strange sensation; sitting in the house of somebody you had just accused of betraying her country. The innocent never take too kindly to being accused of treachery, but in Ros' mind Ruth was far from innocent.

As she sat flicking through one of the television magazines she'd found lying on the side, the banging on the letterbox told Ros that something that something had been dropped on the mat. When she was at home she normally would have left it; it was usually a takeaway leaflet, but this wasn't her home and it most certainly wasn't under normal circumstances and Ros felt it her duty to check it out. She read the leaflet a few times to make sure she had read it correctly before quickly finding a hat, huddling up in the coat and heading out of the front door. She'd never been arrested before.

* * *

The day had dragged on considerably before Ros mustered the energy to return to the Grid. The police had let her go after realising their mistake and the hunt for the real Ruth Evershed had begun. She wasn't entirely sure why she had agreed to be Ruth's lifeline in the first place. They'd never truly got along and meetings were often full of subtle swipes towards the other, much to the men's amusement. As she sat in the cafe with a coffee she thought about what would have been happening whilst she'd be locked up, the stage of the operation and whether it would be Ruth or Harry who finally takes the blame for the set up. Although content that she did nothing wrong to provoke the situation at hand, she did feel a slight unease at the realisation she had let Adam down considerably ever since she had walked into his life and into MI5 not so long before. It wasn't like her to fall so easily or a man, but to fall so easily for a man who had recently been widowed was something entirely different. She needed him like he needed her, but after what she had just done she knew it would take more than a cup of tea and a sweet smile to make things better on the grid. For the first time since joining Section D she hoped for Harry's sake that everything would turn out ok. Of course, life within MI5 doesn't work like that.

As she emerged from the pods she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. There was something in the air, something unidentifiable, but she knew from experience that unidentifiable was never a good thing. Desperate to get back involved with the action she strode purposefully towards her desk, appearing to be a few steps behind Zaf as she walked round the bend in the corridor.

"So where is Ruth?" She asked, a sneer evident in her tone as a smirk found its way across her features.

"She disappeared. Went under our radar," Zaf replied coldly without turning round to face her. He knew she would be pleased with the outcome of the investigation.

"I'm not stupid Zaf," she retorted, giving him a brief look before walking around her desk and taking a seat. She smiled slyly. "It's alright I don't need to know, I just hope she's well hidden that's all because there's going to be a full scale witch hunt. I just hope she's got a broomstick."

Ros had learnt the hard way it was hard work being nice. Besides, it was much more fun to be hated.

* * *

Ros stood assembled with the rest of the team as they watched Harry with intent through the glass wall of his office. It wasn't until now that the team realised they had hugely underestimated the amount of feeling that Harry and Ruth had shared for each other. Although Ros had to admit she had made a mistake, she couldn't help but acknowledge the pang of satisfaction she felt as she watched Harry pick up his desk phone and hold it against his ear for a few moments before placing the phone against his chest, against his heart. She didn't know what was going on, the team had refused to include her in their coming's and going's, but whatever it was, Harry's pain matched hers and she felt much better for it.

It wasn't until Harry rose purposefully from his seat and headed towards the pods with Adam in tow that she realised just how bad the situation actually was.

**You know what to do :) Besides, it's my birthday this week so a little treat won't go amiss :P**


	4. Chapter Four

She'd been standing on his doorstep for several minutes, and although it was obvious he was home, he was making no real effort to get up and answer the door. She ventured for the only possible option that would embarrass him enough to get him to let her in. Lifting the flap of the letterbox, she bent down and peered through the rectangular gap in his door.

"Adam," she called out, her voice echoing through his narrow, furniture-less hallway. "I'm not going anywhere, so you might as well open up and let me in!"

After a time, she saw a shadow emerge. Adam strode towards the front door and yanked it open, before leaning heavily against the doorframe and eyeing her up distastefully.

"What do you want Ros?" He sounded far from amused to be interrupted at such a late hour.

"A drink?" She lifted the bottle of champagne from the dusty doorstep and attempted to thrust it into his hands. His arms remained firmly folded across his chest.

"I hardly think Ruth's untimely departure calls for a celebration do you?" Adam spat before adjusting himself on the doorframe, appearing to make a move back into the flat and leave her standing cold and alone on his doorstep once more.

"Adam, please!"

If it hadn't been for the unusual sound of desperation in Ros' voice, he would have carried on moving inside and left her to drown her own sorrows. He watched her for a few moments, noting with mild satisfaction the insecurity that was swimming in Ros' eyes. Eventually he nodded, and moved aside to allow Ros to cross the threshold and into the warmth of his new home.

"Wes?" She turned to ask him as he shut the door quietly behind him and adjusted all the necessary locks before turning to answer her question.

"He's in bed," Adam muttered before walking up to her and ushering her into the living room. "Unlike some, he doesn't have unsociable calling hours."

"It comes with the job I'm afraid," Ros quipped back sarcastically before sitting down heavily on the well worn sofa and placing the bottle of champagne carefully on the carpeted floor.

"So what are you here for Ros? I'd be in heaven if you're here to tender your resignation."

"Oh, please." Ros scoffed. "If people had to resign after making the wrong judgement call then there'd be nobody left!"

"So you're admitting you made a mistake?" Adam smirked as he watched Ros' frown turn into outrage as she realised he had neatly played her into a corner. Honesty was the best policy.

"Yes, I made the wrong call. But..."

"But nothing!" Adam interrupted, as he finally mustered enough energy to move away from the door and to the sofa opposite where Ros was positioned.

"But," Ros repeated. "She only has herself to blame. That woman was playing you all at a clever little game."

"Care to enlighten me then Ros?" Adam smirked.

"No, not really." Ros replied deadpan. "Are you going to get me a glass for this champagne or am I going to have to lick the remnants out of your newly laid carpet?"

Adam scowled before pushing himself up off the sofa and finding some glasses. When he returned, Ros had already managed to crack the bottle open.

"Ok, arguing aside," Adam muttered as he handed Ros a glass. "Why are you here?"

Ros sighed loudly and started to pour a healthy dose of champagne into her glass.

"To apologise."

"To do _what?_" Adam couldn't help the raise in his voice, but if he hadn't already managed to get himself seated he surely would have collapsed at her admission.

"Don't push your luck," she growled, before taking a large gulp of alcohol and promptly filling her glass back up to the brim.

"If you're apologising for what I think you're apologising for, then I should get off my high horse and tell you that you did the right thing Ros."

She glanced up disbelievingly at his words, unsure whether they were laced with a sarcasm she hadn't yet identified. Inspecting his face, she realised he was sincere in his words and she finally allowed herself to relax in his presence.

"It's really quiet in here," Ros mumbled after a time. The champagne had long gone and the conversation had been brief and jolty, both at a loss of what to say.

"Yes it is," Adam agreed. "What do you suggest?"

"Music," Ros replied without missing a beat.

"OK," Adam rose from his seat and headed towards the stereo located in the far corner of the room. "What do you fancy?"

"Just turn the radio on; I don't have time to search through your endless collection of CDs."

Adam laughed briefly before switching the radio on. He waited patiently for the soothing sounds of magic fm to fill the room before turning to face his companion and offering out his hand.

"I know you probably can't stand up, but would the lady care to dance?"

Ros laughed loudly.

"You can't be serious, why on Earth would I want to dance with you?"

"Because it's half eleven at night and if you don't you'll find yourself back out in the cold."

"Enough said," Ros muttered. She hesitantly rose to her feet and unsteadily made her way over to where to where Adam was waiting.

He held out his hand for her, which she took as she finally managed to kick her shoes off. He pulled her into him, and started swaying to the music as he felt Ros' arms snake out behind his neck. They swayed silently to the various songs filling the air for quite some time and almost twenty minutes later Ros finally found the voice to start up a conversation.

"Tell me about Ruth," she mumbled into Adam's shoulder.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything," she whispered. "What was like she to work with, properly."

"She was brilliant. I never knew how on Earth she would manage to find things and figure out puzzles so quickly. Her intellect was second to none but do you know what was really amazing?"

Ros shook her head and waited for him to continue.

"The fact that she always thought of other people first, no matter what the situation. I think today is also a testament of that; she wouldn't let Harry sacrifice himself for her."

In her drunken state, Ros couldn't quite work out the difference between her mind and her mouth.

"He really loved her didn't he?"

Adam nodded slowly and thought carefully about what else he wanted to reveal.

"Yeah, he did. They probably would have done something about it had his security officer not been so indiscreet around the water cooler."

The silence was almost deafening.

"Harry's a good man Ros," Adam whispered directly into her ear. "Talk to him and I promise you he'll understand. He's had to make decisions like you did virtually all his life."

Ros nodded against Adam's shoulder.

"He'll be ok though?"

"Harry's always ok Ros," Adam replied. "Just promise me I'll be the first person you turn to if you need to address anything."

Of that she was certain.

**A/N: There is more to come! :)  
However, the 5.4/5.5 aspect is truly over :'(  
Next stop: 7.1/7.2**


	5. Chapter Five

**Two Years Later**

The knock on the door was wholly unexpected; but the thud echoing off the walls was enough to drown out her broken thoughts and the slurring of the television as news of the 'failed' terrorist attack filtered through the speakers. She was on her feet within seconds, and as she carefully placed her empty glass on the table located next to the bed, she began to stride towards the source of the noise, with good reason to give the poor bastard a bollocking for so rudely disturbing her at such a late hour.

The quick glance through the peep hole somehow turned into a lengthy stare as Ros tried to convince herself that the man she was seeing was actually standing on the opposite side of the door. He was not a figment of her imagination, he was not the result of wishful thinking, and he was standing in her doorway with the intention to see her, directly, personally, now. The thought of company at such a lonely hour made her head spin, but it was not an unwelcome concept.

She pulled the door back slowly, and despite having already convinced herself he was there, she couldn't help the look of mild shock and gratitude that washed over her worn out features.

The silence that consumed them both lapsed on for several minutes before Ros hesitantly stepped aside and made way for Harry to nervously enter her apartment. He watched as Ros shut the door behind him and made her way briskly back over to the bed and slumped herself down before sighing loudly, and lifting her head slightly to acknowledge her visitor.

"Why are you here?" The words were cold, yet soft to the ear. The sound of regret and grief evident in Ros' dejected tone. His outstanding officer, succumbing to the pain of the job that all but consumed her. It was something he knew all too well.

"To make sure you are ok," he replied as he mimicked her movements and crossed the room to sit next to her on the bed. "You need my support."

"I need no such thing," she retorted defiantly. "I just need a promotion and a pay rise."

Harry laughed loudly.

"You know," Ros continued sombrely. "Adam had awful taste in music."

Harry raised his eyebrows at the sudden shift in conversation, but followed Ros' lead nonetheless.

"How so?"

"He once told me his favourite artist was Eminem."

Harry snorted.

"Who?"

"Oh, some American rapper." Ros rubbed her eyes warily. "It's Adam right down to a T."

Harry smiled and watched Ros try to regain her composure. He could see through her icy exterior, and he knew her well enough to know that she was trying her hardest not to cry.

"He was a good man Ros; he wouldn't have wanted you to..." He cut himself off as he heard the sniffles which indicated a start to Ros' weeping. She looked at him, tears glistening in her usually dark eyes, and he offered her his shoulder, which she took gratefully.

"It's funny," she eventually sobbed. "He said the same thing about you?"

"Hm?" Harry stared absent mindedly at the wall, trying not to remind himself why they were both here, like this.

"He said that you were a good man, after... After Ruth left."

Harry's eyes snapped shut. It'd been years since he'd heard anybody say her name out loud.

"Did he really?"

"Yeah, and you know what? He was right." She paused to lean away from him, before rubbing her eyes vigorously. "You gave me a second chance here, a third chance even after Russia." Another pause. "I'll always be sorry about Ruth, Harry."

"It's forgotten," Harry mumbled, still focusing on the same spot of wall. In truth, it was far from. It was always on the forefront of his mind.

"To be honest," Ros started once again. Harry had a feeling she'd been drinking long before he'd arrived at her door. It was unusual for Ros to talk this much. "I think it's all these little things that shape who we become. Ruth leaving made me realise that I shouldn't always think about myself, nearly drowning in the Thames made me realise I should take more risks. You see what I'm trying to say?"

Harry turned to face Ros before smiling softly.

"In a strange way it makes sense, although I don't suggest drinking all the time to make you this philosophical."

Ros laughed loudly.

"Come on," she stood up and grabbed Harry's hand. "Let's dance."

Harry looked taken aback, but decided given the circumstances, he'd entertain her whim.

"Not to Eminem I hope?"

Ros roared with laughter.

"I wouldn't subject anybody to that form of torture."

Fin.


End file.
